The Vault Dwellers' Cookbook- An Explanation of the Title

I went from a casual gamer to girl gamer warrior in the Spring of 2009. I had just gone through my first truly adult experience (as in someone screwed me out of a whole lotta money) and I was unemployed. I would roll out of bed and go into my gaming cave. All the windows were covered so I never had to see the light of day, and my only sustenance was a large box of Airheads. I would turn on my Xbox and say "Hello" the warm familiar green hue of Fallout 3. I spent 150 hours on this game in about a month. I have every achievement you can get while still being a good character. I have the Bible. I have Bethesda Disease. Every time they put out a game, I get this glazed look on my face and withdraw from the world. It looks a little something like this:

That's it, we've lost her.

I had locked myself away from the world in my own little Vault. I didn't want to deal with the cruel world, so I hid hoping that the douche bag fallout would be over soon. Cooking was my way out. I lifted myself from my stupor and sugar high and went into the kitchen. I made frozen chicken cordon bleu for my family with mashed potatoes and a made-from-scratch dijon sauce. It was easy, and what I needed. I began cleaning my house and slowly acclimating myself back into the real world, but I was a different person. I was a gamer. 

The douche bag fallout has never cleared, but gaming still provides a way for me to tune out of it for a little while and be in a world that centers around me. Cooking is my way to reconnect with the people that matter when I go a little cyber crazy. It only seemed fair that I make this blog for all my other fellow Vault Dwellers by putting cooking in their language. Leave your Vault, make a meal, and contribute to the world a little bit. It'll be OK.

Whaddya Buyin' #2- Slow Cooker

I should probably preface this post by saying that I've grown up in the south east United States. Where I'm from, they pretty much give you a deviled egg tray and slow cooker from day one of cooking. As such, I'm a little biased. I love being able to throw some stuff in a big pot, turn it on and come home to a great smelling kitchen. What's funny about it is that most recipes are adaptable to a slow cooker, allowing you to be able to dictate the amount of time you want to spend defending the Earth (seriously, I've saved the Earth like five times this year) between your meals. 


The slow cooker is perfect for the beginner cook. Slow cooking food is a sure fire way to get all the flavors from your food without burning the ingredients. It also takes away your concerns about time - my slow cooker turns itself off after a preset amount of time and just keeps the food warm. You can make entrees and deserts, plus the warming function makes it great for serving guests. Piping hot meals will be waiting for you without worrying about turning the stove off when you and your guests get way too involved with your old school LAN Halo party. 


I've had a Crock Pot since I moved out, so a lot of the new models are much fancier than what I have. That being said, I find slow cookers last forever. You can probably find a used one at a yard sale or thrift store that works just fine. I got mine from a large wholesale store for like 30 bucks.

This the T-1000 to my old Crock-Pot

Necessity: Medium. You can always use a big pot on the stove instead, but not as convenient.
Cost: $45.19 (from Amazon)
Space Consumed: High. You want a big one. I keep mine above my fridge.


My family has always owned Crock-Pots, but I'm sure other brands work just fine. The most important things are a large, oval shaped pot (about 6 quarts) and a high, medium, low and warm setting. I've found the time function is arbitrary: it doesn't really matter what you set it to, just whatever you have time for. 


Also, I've never seen one without removable stoneware, but this is also important. It makes it much easier to clean.


I do have a smaller slow cooker that I use for melting butter or serving warm dips. It came with my slow cooker and has only one setting. I don't use it that much anymore.


This is my favorite appliance for making chicken stock for the more advanced cook. I worked at a store that gave away a free whole chicken to new customers, and many of them picked up their raw chicken gingerly with two fingers and a crooked look of confusion. I would tell them to add their newly acquired free bird; some carrots, onion, celery, herbs and water to their slow cooker (My friend William has a great recipe at his blog The Food Spot). You let it cook away for about 6 hours, and then pull the bird. Strain the veggies, and you have chicken stock. Store it in the freezer. The leftover chicken meat I would pull, throw back in the slow cooker and add a whole bunch of barbecue sauce. This would stay in the fridge for sandwiches and really good nachos. Easy.


Do you own a slow cooker? Do you actually use it, or does it just eat up space in your cabinets?

Whaddya Buyin'? #1- Outfitting your Kitchen and An Ode to My Potato Masher

This is the first entry of a series about kitchen equipment- the items I feel every kitchen agent needs to fend off the Las Plagas hoard by making them a quiche with entrails (or whatever you want). Outfitting your kitchen and outfitting Leon S. Kennedy in Resident Evil 4 are actually a lot of alike. Recall the skulky merchant from Resident Evil 4,  as he erotically opens his trench coat of goodies like Demi Moore in StripTease. He asks, with a wink and an out-of-place cockney accent, "Whaddya Buyin'?" Screw Magic Mike, I'd take this guy, with his infinite rocket launcher, any day.

Why, hello there.

Anytime he showed up, I knew I could breathe a sigh of relief- No harm was going to come to me here.   I would peruse his inventory carefully, always asking myself about permutations of the following situations: "Do I really need that machine gun?", "That one shot rocket launcher takes up so many blocks of my inventory!", and "It costs HOW MUCH?!?!". Seriously, picking out Leon's inventory is a life skill. These are the kinds of things that should be running through your mind when you purchase inventory for your new culinary adventures. As such, I will be framing my recommendations around necessity, cost and space consumed. So, with out further ado, here's what's under the trench today:

The Good Grips Smooth Potato Masher

Necessity: High! (I use this sucker pretty much every time I cook)
Cost: $12.99 (from Amazon)
Space Consumed: Minimal. I keep mine in a tiny cutlery drawer.

There are potato mashers, and then there is this baby. This thing goes beyond just potatoes. I make guacamole, egg salad, pimento cheese and pretty much anything that needs to be mushy with this puppy. The location of the grip gives really great torque, and the grips rubber handle keeps your hand from slipping. The holes are perfect for creating your desired texture- it doesn't automatically turn everything to a paste. You can also mix up your ingredients without worrying about food pieces getting stuck, and a quick smack on the side of the bowl will release any caked on goodness. Seriously, I bought one, then my mom had to buy one too, and she's had the same masher for 20 years. This, and maybe a good bowl, are the beginner cook's best friends.


So, that's the start. What do you guys think? I am stretching with my metaphor? Am I a little sick for sexualizing the merchant from Resident Evil? Do you own a better masher? Let me know!

Skyrim Stamina Bars

I love prepackaged brownie mixes. No measuring, weighing, or dirtying dishes. Also, the only other ingredients required are vegetable oil and eggs. I find a lot of these brownie mixes lack some of the depth that comes from making brownies from scratch. I've put everything in brownies mixes: nuts, liquor and extracts. My personal favorite is adding instant espresso. I love Medaglia D'oro brand for this flavor, plus the little extra caffeine. Speaking of which, chocolate is also a source of caffeine. These are the perfect way to utilitize your "Skyrim" loading screens and eat something with enough sugar and caffeine to keep you going past the 100 hour mark.

Skyrim Stamina Brownie Bars
1 package premixed brownie mix (I like Ghirardelli)
1 1/2 TBSP Instant Espresso Powder
1 TSP Vanilla Extract
1/2 c Heath Chunks

The following measurements are from my brownie mix, yours may be different.
1/3 c Vegetable Oil
1/3 c Water
1 egg

Follow the directions on your brownie mix; however, fairly generic instructions are:
1) Preheat your oven to 325 degrees.
2) Whisk together oil, extract, espresso, water and egg.
3) Add brownie mix and mix together. Add Heath Chunks and mix.
4) Pour into a pregreased pan and spread evenly.
5) Bake for 30 minutes and check. Unless your package says to cook less time for your pan size, ALWAYS check at 30 minutes. I find most packages tell you too much time, and you end up with burnt brownies.
      I stab my brownies with a fork to see if they're done. If the fork comes out clean, you're good!
6) Cool for 20 minutes, cut, grab a glass of milk (or mead) and enjoy!

Pictures to come!

Third Try's the Charm

I find myself with more free time once again in my journey to becoming an engineer. Blogging seems like a productive way to spend my time; however, choosing a subject matter is difficult. My first attempt was too all inclusive, my second too complicated. For my third, I figured I'd do what I really know: Video Games and Food.

I love Video Games. I am currently employed at Gamestop, and am the proud owner of an Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, 3DS and PSP. This blog gives me the opportunity to present one of my favorite mediums which is significantly ignored. Video Games are as much of an art form as current literature and  other creative arts. Games like Bioshock, Portal, and Mass Effect (to name a small few) are pushing the envelope on story telling, graphics and what video games really mean in our culture. I play a game like an English major. I look at the various plot points, irony and allusion which saturate the modern video game and marvel at the skill of game studios like Irrational, Valve, and Bioware. I talk about a game not in terms of whether I enjoy it, but rather where it is strong and where it is weak, and I would have my Arnold Schwarzenegger "signed" Berkeley degree taken away from me if I did not use evidence. This narrow view I feel is lacking in a number of video game conversations I hear and read, so I see no harm in getting this conversation started.

On to food. I love food. I mean, everyone loves food, but food for me is such a defining point of who I am. I started cooking at 11. I have live all over the U.S. in the last six years, and everywhere I go teaches me more and more about my passion. I have been employed by the food industry in one way or another for just about as long. I enjoy Mexican, Vegan, Cajun-Creole, French, Southern and Japanese cooking, to name just a few. I'm also not rich and like most Americans, I also cook because I have to in order to save money.

The tagline I decided on is "Video Games for Food People, Food for Video Game People". Basically, I cook a dish that relates to whatever video game I'm playing at the moment, and I give you the recipe, as well as my feelings on the game. Easy.

OK, so all that long fluff aside, here is my blog mission statement, in list form (I find video game and food people alike all love lists):

-Simple Recipes. Nothing with accent marks or fake accents. If you can't say it, you won't cook it.

-Simple ingredients. Things I know even you can find.

-Use of minimal kitchen equipment. Stuff that comes in your typical apartment, and things I know even the most prehistoric of my guy friends have.

-Storage options. I freeze everything, which is perfect for a late night "Skyrim" fest. I will plan my recipes around leftovers.

- Puns. Cause I like puns. For example, a future recipe will be called "Mac Effect 3".

-Sarcasm. I watched a lot of "Daria" and it stuck.

So, I will make this easy for you: I am a girl, I wear dresses, I cook, I play video games, and I'm not alone. There are a lot of us out there, and I dedicate this blog to them.

Ear Wax Candles

I sold the mother load of these candles at work yesterday. They are about a foot long cone, normally made of some fabric wound and then coated in wax. The patient lies down as someone places the tip of the cone in the canal of the ear. (Hopefully someone you trust). Plates are frequently placed around the cone in order to prevent the wax from burning the patient. The candle is meant to wick all the wax out of the ear, as well as other toxins.

I did a little mini investigation at work yesterday, asking people why they were buying the candles that day. A great many said their allergies were bothering them (allergies are particularly bad in Knoxville), and another said it was due to the full moon. Many people believe that toxins in their body are more prevalent and susceptible to irritation or expulsion around the full moon. I wanted to get the full scoop.

Wellnessinteractive.com claims that these candles are an ancient practice used to remove the afore mentioned ear wax and also fungus from the ear canal. (http://www.wellnessinteractive.com/videowellness.html) The previous link also has a video of the procedure.

I did not know a lot about ear fungus, so I did a bit of research. Ear fungus is frequently the cause of what we know as "Swimmer's Ear" or an External Ear Infection. The common way to treat Swimmer's Ear is a pain reliever (like acetaminophen, which is Tylenol) and medicated drops in severe cases. Patients are also advised to keep water from entering the canal(http://www.pediatricdoc.com/newsletter.cfm?nid=698). The treatment can be very uncomfortable because it, like many others, simply requires the patient to wait it out. Could these candles perhaps provide a quicker alternative? What about those suffering from ear aches due to allergies?

The FDA does not think so. In fact, I found several doctors as well as the FDA that are up in arms against ear candling, particularly its usage on children. (Lisa Roazen M.D., Louise Chang MD, FDA). The biggest concerns are wax from the candle entering the canal, as well as fire hazards. Ear candling is very strongly discouraged by the medical community.

Many people claim the candles work due to the amount of residue found inside the cone after the procedure. Several of the links about have accounts of control tests are provided in the link above, in which persons placed the candles in empty, nonhuman sources, such as bottles. The candles placed in ear canals and the candles placed in bottles produced the same residue.

Ear aches due to allergies come from paranasal sinus inflammation. Decongestants are frequently used for less severe cases, as well as rest and fluids. One important note from the Mayo Clinic which I think is important for those looking to treat allergies with ear candling is that patients are recommended to keep their heads elevated to relieve the congestion. Placing your head horizontal for candling could actually make your discomfort worse.

**THE FINAL VERDICT**

BALONEY

The evidence against ear candling is extensive and well documented, consisting of a large number of controls. The fact that FDA has warnings out against it is reason enough for the informed to stay away; however, the spectacle of candling will persuade many to believe they are being treated. This, in many ways, is a powerful treatment for the grogginess associated with sinus inflammation, provided they do not burn the house down.

I won't tell them if you won't. :)

PS: I'll leave the whole "full moon toxins" to someone less skeptical than me.

Carl Sagan

I think I may have found my calling.

This all began with a random web search. I think I was trying to figure out the truth about BPAs, or something along those lines. I work at a natural/organic grocery store, so I am literally bombarded every day with theories about radiation, bodily toxins, vitamins and pesticides. A great many of these do have scientific evidence to back them up, while an equal number are complete and total baloney. How are we supposed to tell the difference?

This led me to Carl Sagan's The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark. Quite a few books have touched my life and personal ethos, but few with the profound effect of this book. Talk about the right book at the right time. Moving back to the South has caused me to confront a lot of questions I have always had about religion, but sequestered for various reasons while living in the West. The guilt, humiliation and isolation of being an atheist has flooded back, and I found myself having to re-establish the core of my beliefs. I am not the same person I was 2 years into getting my English degree. I have a year and half of engineering school under my belt, and I have a basis in physics and calculus to accompany my BA in English. I find awe not only in the beauty of Enobarbus' final speech in Antony and Cleopatra, but also in the concepts of zero, infinity and the Law of Conservation of Mass/Energy. I find it an absolute shame that the two do not typically exist in harmony.

I say "typically" because of Carl Sagan. The afore mentioned book is not only filled with science and arguments against the abandonment of the scientific method, but also quotes from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Ranier Maria Rilke, and William Blake. (Though to be fair, he doesn't typically agree with Blake's "poetic license".) Sagan is careful writer. He is aware of his own personal biases, and allows them to slip only for those he feels are of particular importance. I am thinking specifically of his no-holds barred chapter on Edward Teller, the father of the hydrogen bomb, titled "When Scientists Know Sin". He does, begrudgingly and only after fully attacking what the physicist has accomplish, admit the possibility of Teller's good intentions for this nation. Sagan never says that people who believe that have been abducted by aliens or had dances with the devil are crazy, but human. Humans have hallucinations which may seem as real to them has everyday life, and these people are frequently well adjusted members of society. The problem is not these people, but those persons who take such stories as fact and use them as a basis to cause harm to others. He uses the example of Paul Ingram, a man sentenced to prison because of accusations his daughter "remembered" while under hypnosis. Sagan's decorum and evidence inspire me not only to inquire more about the world around me, but also to find a way to share such things with others.

The problem with science is that you must study for years to truly understand it. Most Americans, as Sagan frequently points out, have not done so, which is frequently not their faults. His chapter "No Such Thing as a Dumb Question" has some astonishing numbers about how American stack up against the rest of world in science. He goes on to question why we do not study science in "The Wind Makes Dust", which he says is mostly political and hierarchal. Those are deep rooted issues that are incredibly difficult to challenge in one or several lifetimes. Shows like Bill Nye the Science Guy, MythBusters and channels like Discovery, PBS, History and National Geographic are making a valiant effort in providing the general public with science, but what can we do when people would rather watch Jersey Shore?

I believe the real problem for the intelligent non-physcists of the world is a lack of inaccessibility. Most scientific databases with real hard evidence are unavailable to the general public. Only those in universities and positions in scientific fields may access them. We must believe what we are told simply because we do not have the real evidence for BOTH sides. We must be trained not to believe everything we hear from the media, friends or family. We are; however, lacking a key element of our toolkit: the afore mentioned evidence. We feel lost, myself included. We hear of the Big Bang, but no one takes the time to explain exactly what it is, and what evidence supports it. Most of what we do read is written with antiseptic and apathetic hand. Science is source of hope, inspiration, and a better understanding of what is means to be human. It should be treated as such.

What I am proposing is to collect hard evidence for and against the claims currently in circulation, and allow my readers to chose for themselves who is right or wrong. I will reserve any of my own judgments for an afterword section in each blog, which can be read if so desired. I will summarize the claims in plain english which will be followed by links (as best as copyrights will allow me) to the original. Any help or links would be greatly appreciated.

Good luck to us all.